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DISASTER FOR GUFF LOYALISTS!!!

We don't spruik and we certainly don't sugarcoat. Yesterday was an unmitigated disaster. The gods couldn't even give us one of the two 10/1 pops fighting out the last at Flemington to pull something out of the wreck. The Brisvegas maestro did find TIGER TEES but by then, for most of us, it was too little, too late. It's been a while since we've got it so comprehensively wrong but the day was a disgrace. As Kipling said, we now have to "bend and build it up again with worn out tools...." The fight back starts today. Randwick Guff is now available. Reload your accounts, take your courage in your hands, wipe the blood from your bayonets, and get read to charge at the enemy!

 

GUFF NOW AVAILABLE FOR SYDNEY AND MELBOURNE!!!

Guff is now available for the Scone, Flemington and Doomben cards. It does look a pretty good day if you have a beer and a quiet chat with your mates during some of the races I'm keen to avoid. But there's plenty of the good stuff, too. Good luck to all.

 

YOUNG FOX CONVERTS SUBSCRIBERS TO FREETOAIR

Amazonian Goddess Analise King nonchalantly steered Guff Value Bet FREETOAIR to a comfortable victory in the last at Canterbury today, in the process delivering the pelf for Guff Loyalists. Loyalists were on the front foot from the start as BETRAYAL, MISS MILANESE, RIVER OF SALVATION and LADY MELKSHAM all saluted but it was FREETOAIR who delivered the much needed killer blow trading at $18 on Betfair. (We in fact just missed the $96 somebody put up 23.0 and presume a Guff loyalist snaffled it before we could.) As you well know we eschew the spruik here at the Guff, but an $18 winner late in the day really is Business As Usual for Guff subscribers. The rolling caravan looks set to continue this weekend and here at Guff Headquarters we'll be poring over the form for Saturday to keep subscribers living in the manner to which they've become accustomed. 

Welcome to anyone who's visiting the Guff website for the first time. The Guff is a subscription based service covering Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane races with subscriptions ranging anywhere from 1 day to 6 months. Six months of sample editions are available behind THE Guff icon centre of screen. 2 years of Best Bet results are available behind the RESULTS icon.  Or for anyone who's seen enough and is ready to subscribe, then just hit SUBSCRIBE.

Follow the Guff on twitter: @TheGuffmeister

 

​GUFF NOW AVAILABLE!!!

Guff is now available for subscribers for the big cards at Canterbury and Sandown. Both midweekers are much better than average meetings, stacked with opportunities. I always thought Ronnie Barker's character Arkwright said it best when he opined, "God gave you two good hands to grab what you can with!" Good luck to all.

 

 

 

HALFMAN HALF BISCUIT SNATCHES THE GUFF CUP FROM WINEMAN IN A THRILLER!!!

HALFMAN HALFBISCUIT has won the Guff Cup after an epic final day. Trailing WINEMAN into the last round, HALFMAN HALFBISCUIT took a risk selecting MORE JOYOUS. If the mighty mare had started the price she should have - and the price most of us were expecting to take - he would have missed. But a best fluc of an amazing 3.4 gave him victory by a mere $2! A return of even 3.2 would have seen a Zoolander-style playoff between the two. I must offer an apology. I posted the tips about midday Saturday and thought they were there until someone alerted me today they weren't. Gremlins have got into the bowels of the Guff system once again. Many of you must feel about our IT guru the way the loud-mouthed American in the "Waldorf salad" episode of Fawlty Towers feels about the chef he imagines is in Basil's kitchen. "Get in there and kick his arse, Fawlty!" It obviously would have been far more preferable for everyone to be able to follow the tips on the day. We will have sorted out the teething problems by the Spring. A crate of high class wine will be on its way to HALFMAN HALFBISCUIT shortly, along with a golden chalice with his name engraved upon it saying he's the inaugural winner of the Guff Cup. He can keep it on his mantlepiece until the Spring and, naturally, even longer if he can win it again. Thanks to everyone for competing in the right spirit. It's an honour to serve such a classy bunch of people. (I really do mean that.)

 

THE CARNIVAL IS OVER!!!

Like the Seekers and Nick Cave say, the carnival is over. It was everything we hoped for and more. Some glorious racing that has got many of us plotting the Spring campaign already. The winners flowed consistently and in all seriousness if you haven't been having a good run using our stuff you really need to reconsider your methodology. We're always happy to assist with that and you can email us privately if you'd like some help in that regard. The mighty MORE JOYOUS sparked wild celebrations all across the wide brown land. We just needed SIGNOR SOCKS to hang on (a couple of you got better than 50/1 on Betfair I'm informed) for some lovely icing on the cake. So it goes. Attention turns to the Brisbane winter carnival now and those of you who've been with us for a lot longer than we've been a commercial enterprise know that the Sunshine State is like plucking apples off of trees for the Guff this time of year. The Brisvegas maestro is brimming with confidence, or at least he was when I bid him my leave about 3am Sunday morning. He probably still is if he's alive. The carnival is over: veni, vidi, vici...but there's always another carnival...

 

GUFF IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR RANDWICK AND CAULFIELD!!!

It's the last day of the Sydney Autumn carnival, a carnival we promised to take by storm. In fact, I think what we actually said was "when this is over we will stride through the battlefield and piss on the decaying cadavers of the enemy". I think  we've delivered. But we want one more, Guff loyalists, one more. The Brisvegas maestro will be a man to follow today as things begin to heat up north of the border. He's found some good winners at nice prices recently and it's a brave man who lets his long-priced ones go around without something on them. Good luck to all.

 

GET YOUR GUFF CUP TIPS IN!!!

Today is the last day of the Guff Cup competition and your last chance for a throw at the stumps to catapult past our leader WINEMAN and snare a crate of excellent wine and get your name engraved on the Cup. Good luck to everyone. It's been a bit of fun and may the best man or woman win.

 

GUFF MISSES TIPPING THE CARD BY ONE!!!

Only NOBBY SNIP bungling the start robbed the Guff of tipping the card today! Judging by the flood of emails we've all had a great day and we at the Guff are mightily pleased everyone has shared in it. Not one of you complained about the recent price increase. Not one. Today was your reward. Like we always say, we don't spruik - and we really don't. We don't have to invent or massage anything or engage in the flights of fancy and distortion of facts that mainstream analysts do. We win. You win. We both know it and we don't give a flying fuck what anybody else does. Enjoy the evening, for that's what these days are all about. And what about the great MORE JOYOUS? In the presence of such quality I shiver with pleasure and awe. A deep privilege to have witnessed her do it. We're really glad you're all on board and you're not called Guff loyalists for nothing. I'm off to get terribly drunk now and raise a glass to MORE JOYOUS, LANDING, DEAR DEMI, DEE N GEE, SINGLE STYLE, LIGHTINTHENITE and WESTERN SYMBOL!!!

POSTSCRIPT

The Guff has received an avalanche of congratulatory emails calling the Guffmeister, among other things, "a genius". We can only once again reiterate the wisdom and modesty of the great quarterback Joe Theisman deflecting the same praise: "I'm not a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

WINEMAN LEADS INTO THE FINAL ROUND OF GUFF CUP!!!

With only one week to go in the Guff Cup runaway leader WINEMAN is still the one to beat but HALFMAN HALFBISCUIT has closed the gap with the win of MORE JOYOUS and has the leader in his sights. There's a number of competitors in positive figures after those two and anything is possible in the final round.We'd encourage all competitors, no matter how far back, to throw in a tip for the last day. You never know your luck and with a dozen bottles of good win up for grabs, a dinner for two and - most importantly - the winner having their name engraved on the inaugural Guff Cup, you must have ago.

GUFF CUP TIPS NOW ONLINE!!!

Tips for Week 7 of the Guff Cup are now online. There's a few stragglers, and obviously a few who've given up all hope with only two weeks to go and haven't bothered filing! Shame on you! Where there's life, there's hope. Good luck to all.

GUFF AVAILABLE FOR ALL THREE STATES!!!

You can't ask for anymore on Doncaster day than Guff for the entire eastern seaboard available for perusal by 9am while you're digesting your ham and eggs and giving you something to mull over while you toy with your Italian coffee. It looks a fabulous betting day and we're pretty confident there'll be lots of cheers, spilling of beer and hats in the air by 5pm. We just don't know if it will be us or the bookmakers doing the cheering. The Brivegas maestro tore the house down last week and threatens to do so again. Good luck to everyone on what should be a fascinating day.

 

GUFF AVAILABLE FOR SANDOWN NOW!!

The deluge that has Sydney has resulted in the abandonment of today's Warwick Farm meeting. We've now only got one card to work with, but you can do a lot with one card if you play it right. It's an interesting day down south with the races ranging from nailed on, to good value, to avoid at all costs. Should be fun.

BRISVEGAS MAESTRO IS SO HOT RIGHT NOW!!!

As we confidently predicted, the Brisvegas maestro has run himself into a bit of form, with his best bet MORNIN CAPTAIN(4.4) saluting last Saturday, along with his value bet TELESTO WARRIOR(10.0). His evil lay ROCKER(2.2) got home by the skin of its teeth, showing that the ole Guffmeister isn't the only one around here who can find a winning lay! But mighty fine shooting from our man and with the northern carnival soon to swing into action we strongly recommend you read his thoughts closely.

 

WINEMAN SURGES TO THE FRONT WITH MELBOURNE ROUGHIE AND WE THINK HE'LL LIKE THE WINE IF HE WINS!!!

Apologies for taking a couple of days to update things, but it is school holidays and the Guffmeister is the servant of many masters. Unbelievably, Wineman found ADAMON in the Guff Cup at 26.0 to go to the front. I say unbelievably not because it was hard to find. (In fact it met the short priced favourite 3kg better for a 1.4L defeat a couple of starts back before floppping on unsuitable ground last time and Melham went on. I'm embarrassed to say I missed it, but Wineman didn't!) Yes, this is the same Wineman the Guff asked to recommend a lovely dozen as first prize for the Guff Cup. So we're sure he'll like the prize if he holds on and wins.Well done, Wineman. The rest of you have two weeks to try to peg him back. 

 

 

GUFF CUP TIPS NOW ONLINE!!!

With the exception of a couple of stragglers, Guff Cup tips are now online.

 

THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM!!! GUFF NOW AVAILABLE!!!

While the city slumbers the Ol' Guffmeister has been preparing you a banquet. Guff is now available for Sydney, Melbourne and Adelaide. I've snuck a look at the early thoughts of the Brisvegas maestro and he's nailed his colours to the mast in a few events up north and I for one will be with him big time. Keep your tips coming in for the Guff Cup. There's great prizes, the chance to have your name engraved upon the Cup and bragging rights up for grabs. It looks a sensational day's racing and - from our point of view - a fabulous mix of good things looking nailed on and tremendous value. I've thrown a good thing in Perth into the mix above for those not satisfied with the action provided in the wide scything arc from Brisbane to Adelaide. Good luck to everyone! 

GUFF PRICING

The more eagle eyed amongst you will have noticed that the cost of subscribing to the Guff has risen to $70 per month. For those of you who are on our Paypal automatic rebill system, the price will remain at its previous level for the time being and you will be notified by email prior to any change. While the rise might seem steep in percentage terms it does reflect several months of very strong and consistent success. We trust that each and every one of you is sharing in that success.  Even at the new price our product does remain extraordinarily reasonable relative to our competitors. To cite 2 examples Champion Picks charge $267 per month, while the Punters Show charge an exorbitant $44 per individual meeting, which amounts to around $900 per month. And that's before you factor in the amount of money you'd lose backing their selections. At the Guff you will continue to receive a product of Harrods quality all brought to you at K Mart prices.

 

TODAY, TONIGHT AND TOMORROW!

Firstly, a bad start at Canterbury today with the best going down at skinny odds in the first. EVER THE SAME(5.0) would have put most of us back in front and I guess it comes down to whether you took the 2.7 RAIN DRUM this morning or not. It would have been hard to back him after he was 2.15 into 1.75 on course. (That naturally is one of the great Guff assets, you have the opportunity to get on before the rest of the world does at a far better price than the market will offer later in the day.) Couldn't find a juicy double overlay to deliver the knockout blow, but there wouldn't have been any harm done, I would have thought. We've put up a best bet for Cranbourne tonight. There's no prices on offer at time of writing, so keep your eyes peeled. An outstanding day looms tomorrow. The Guffmeister and the Brisvegas maestro willl be burning the midnight oil to ensure that you are all better informed, prepared and armed than anyone else in the game. There's even going to be a special edition Adelaide Guff for the big meeting down there. Do we spoil you lot, or what? Enjoy your evening, however you spend it and as Cardinal Pell and Dave Allen would say, and may your god go with you.

 

WRONG PRICE UP!

We didn't have a price up for BARANSKY today. That's now been fixed. The price of MISKISH has been slightly adjusted. Humble  apologies. 

Follow the Guff on Twitter: @TheGuffmeister

MIXED DAY BUT REPORTS GOOD!!!!

One of the difficulties of a service like ours is that we realize that not everyone is going to play a raceday the same way. We've had reports from quite a few subscribers who registered spectacular wins, some have told us they got out with a small win or square, and some lost. Certainly those who followed the Guffmeister into STREAMA and STRAWBERRY BOY big time, were playing catch-up football after that but the Melbourne best MOMENT OF CHANGE(4.0), PIERRO(6.5) and MORE JOYOUS(1.8) at least neutralised that for many of you. Adherents of the double overlay strategy cashed in big time with SECOND EFFORT(21.0). The second horse there GALBRAITH(20.0) was also a huge overlay, so that race was a big opportunity for subscribers. The Brisvegas maestro, as we predicted, delivered in spades. CRAZY MAMA was third rated as a 10.4 chance and paid better than 30.0 on the totes with much, much better available on Betfair. THEFT(8.0) and MURAMBA DOWNS(9.0) were both nice overlay winners, while FUNTANTES has gone down in the last stride after looking home at a juicy 9.0. While, as I say, it comes down to how you played it, I will say that the subscriber who went to the Hong Kong Sevens and then on to New York on the back of a couple of stellar Guff weeks filed his tip in the Guff Cup today from the West Indies, having decided to drink rum, woo Barbadian women and continue to amass his fortune backing the double overlays from the Carribbean. If STRAWBERRY BOY had won I would have joined him. But there's still Randwick Monday. Think I'm joking? I know you don't. See you then.

BIG MOVEMENT IN THE GUFF CUP AS THE WINNERS FLOW!!!

Dr Dig has taken the lead in the Guff Cup, finding METAL BENDER at 16.0! Tremendous performance! Half Man Half Biscuit has trailed him through into second on the back of PIERRO 6.5, while Just Quietly has moved up the leaderboard with ZARATONE at 8.0. 

 

THE GUFF IS NOW ON TWITTER

Twitter handle is TheGuffmeister. Follow me on the road to riches!

GUFF CUP TIPS NOW ONLINE!!!

Tips for the Guff Cup are now online. There's a few stragglers who haven't filed and may yet chime in late. Once again, good luck to everyone today.

GUFF NOW AVAILABLE!!!

Guff is now available for the big Rosehill, Caulfield AND Eagle farm cards. It looks a cracker of a card for Golden Slipper day and, as you shall see, we'll be taking no prisoners. Good luck to all!

 

DAILY BEST BET POSTED AT 9AM!!!

In a first for the Guff the daily best bet, a lovely little filly which should lead all the way at Oakbank, has been posted at the ungodly hour of 9am. What machine-like efficiency! It just has to win now. Think it will. Keep those tips for the Guff Cup rolling in. The earlier I have them all, the earlier I can post them so you can follow your fortunes.

 

​GUFF CUP TIPS AND RESULTS NOW ONLINE!!!

Apologies for the lateness in posting the Guff Cup results from the weekend. Also, it was only when I began collating the results that I saw that the tips themselves weren't even posted. This would leave the competition organiser open to charges of chicanery if his selection had won at 33/1. However, it ran true to his form in this competition and finished well down the track. Only Mr Chips has found a winner, with PERMIT at 4.6. The rest of us should hang our heads in shame. There's a few tips I didn't receive but can account for. However, if Colin Oscopy, 69 or Donkey Rod filed, please let me know. Big Fat Bastard is still in UK pleading with the locals for sex and beer. Carlaw Park is in New York, we suspect essentially doing the same thing because we know he deputed a pal to back the double overlays for him when he went to the Hong Kong sevens and added New York after a couple of ripping days. Mein Hoste was unlucky enough to verbally provide his tips to the competition organiser at 5pm on Friday after a particularly long lunch. He could have tipped anything! 

THAT'S THE WAY, UH HUH, UH HUH, WE LIKE IT!!!

Reports are flooding in from all across the wide brown land and beyond (we're not kidding) about the stellar day at Randwick. The magnificent KELLINI didn't give us a sweat in trotting home as the best bet at quite simply an unbelievable 4.8. But that was the hors d'ouvres. SHOW A LION HEART, which was 21.0 everywhere when the Guff was published this morning, rated 5.5, has skated home. This was followed by Guff value bet TANYA JEAN hanging on grimly for us in the last at 12.0, 13.0, or 14.0 depending on where you bet. (I say this because there's always some arsehole who hasn't taken any of those odds about a horse rated 4.1 who wants to quibble about the available price. I have a piece of advice for such individuals. Stick with the Duff, stick with the Shark, stick with Richie and the Sportingbet market movers. With all the restraint and dignity I can muster, we aren't for you.) For the rest of you, who bring me nothing but good humour, joy and encouragement, blessings and benedictions. My arse is truly honoured. If the Autumn is not ours already, it soon will be. I've pulled the cork out of a nice red and put on an old Beatles record, while cheering home the Crows in the AFL because just about everyone I care about has their balls on them. If you can all live with not being like normal people, I guess I can too.

 

 

RANDWICK GUFF AVAILABLE TOMORROW

Just a reminder there will be Guff for the Randwick meeting tomorrow and I'll try to dig out a winner or two at the other venues. A strange day today. I personally had a modest win but am the first to admit I didn't play things very well. A few subscribers have contacted me to say they got 21.0 VAIN ATTRACTION late at the Valley, which of course makes it a double overlay. I didn't see anything like that and consequently wasn't on myself. So it goes. (I got the Sydney quaddie for $750! Thought it would pay about $3,000,0000).  I also managed to get exactly the right price about a bunch of fuckers which ran as if their legs were tied together and missed the double overlay price narrowly on about four winners. That's life. Off to the local Thai with the Sweet Pea and a nice bottle of Tasmanian sav blanc. There are worse fates. And we'll do it all again tomorrow. And we will win tomorrow. Is there anyone who doubts that? Oh, and give Guff hero SO YOU THINK a mighty big kick tonight. A smashing horse and my guess is this will be his swansong. The Guffmeister will train one of his sons to avenge him in a Melbourne Cup win. You are all in for a share when the time comes. Enjoy the evening and I hope you handled the day better than me.   

 

 

 GUFF CUP TIPS NOW ONLINE!!!

Tips for the Guff Cup are now online. There's quite a few who've failed to file, either because they're so far back they've given up hope, or in the case of BIG FAT BASTARD they are in NZ squiring supermodels. Good luck to everyone.

THE GUFFMEISTER GOES THE GOUGE!!!

After as much agonising and soul searching as we can muster here at the Guff, we have decided that the cost of a subscription will rise from April 6. The monthly rate will go to $70 per month with pro rata increases for longer subscriptions. We are notifying people of this to keep faith with existing subscribers and we will endeavour to give them the opportunity to renew their accounts at the current rate early next week. We do try and keep our service at an affordable rate and want each and every one of you to stick with us. Even at the new price, which still only amounts to $3 per meeting, the Guff remains the best value product in the racing world. We will provide details of what, if anything Paypal subscribers need to do to keep their accounts up to date when our IT guru has worked through the issues.

 

THE UNENDING FEAST CONTINUES AS GUFF LOYALISTS CLEAN UP AGAIN!!!

We barely had time to climb out of our hammock after sleeping off the after party following Saturday's rout of the enemy before lo and behold it showered $100 notes again! On a day we flagged as a potential minefield and the advice was to stick to the good things and the value we had COMPASS the Best Bet Across The Wide Brown Land salute at 2.75. (That was the Betfair price. I haven't looked at the bookmaker's markets, if it was slightly shorter, so be it.) The other good thing to salute was first time jumper ABOVE AVERAGE - rated 1.1 by the Guff - at 2.7! By the time the daily best bet DETOX came up at 1.95 Guff loyalists were cashed up and in no mood to pussyfoot around, with an avalanche of money for this very talented young horse forcing his price in and in before he put them to the sword. But wait! There's more! SUTTON QUEEN(8.0) was the Sydney value bet and a delicious double overlay. VALHUSSLE(plenty of 14.0 Betfair) was another superb double overlay half an hour later as Guff loyalists gave them the ole one-two, Ali-style. EIGHT CARDS(9.4) did the job for the double overlay devotees to keep the pot boiling down south. The Melbourne value bet ELDONI has finished a nice third at 21.0 early. I know you don't get paid unless you are on each way, but it shows we have the eye in. And what about STAR OF HELICON flying home for a good second at nearly 30/1. Life is good. And we intend to keep it that way. Life is sweet. And we intend to keep it that way. Like Ringo always sez, peace and love!

 

 

PROTESTS GALORE IN GUFF CUP!!!

At least we know winning the inaugural Guff Cup means something to you all. We've had a couple of protests fired. Monkeyspanker was horrifed to see the updated leaderboard didn't credit him with TITLE(11.0), which he'd filed early on Saturday morning via text. The competition organiser missed it amid the hurley burley of raceday. My apologies. He moves into a menacing third. The Pied Piper has protested that since his winner and Big Fat Bastard's winner were both 12.0 and neither has picked another winner they should both be +90. That's right. We now have joint leaders. It's all getting very exciting!

 

ANOTHER PICNIC FOR GUFF LOYALISTS!!!

While the golden run of best bet winners came to a halt yesterday, there were plenty of winners to more than compensate for that. PAMPELLONE(4.4), SINGLE(2.6), MORE JOYOUS(2.9), COLORADO CLAIRE(12.0) and TITLE(13.0) were all double overlay winners and any subscriber who hasn't embraced that excellent methodology by now surely needs to enter the hall of mirrors and have a very good look at themselves. A dodgy bias against those near the fence ruined the southern card. There was plenty of 4.8 about SHEILA' STAR in the morning but she was belted into 2.8 by racetime. Best bet Stratcombe raced in inferior ground and went under late. Must have won on a fairer surface, but so it goes. There's a long way to go this Autumn but the enemy must be getting a wee bit nervous. The larder and the cellar are now replete and life is good. After four straight Guffs Wednesday - Saturday the ole Guffmeister is looking forward to knocking the shiny red tops off of a few of Mr Cooper's finest over the next couple of days. And then we'll do it all again. Hope everyone had a win.

BIG FAT BASTARD STILL IN FRONT IN GUFF CUP DESPITE NOT FILING A TIP!

Territorian subscriber Big Fat Bastard forgot to file a tip, but given the man's lifestyle he could have been anywhere. He remains in front by standing still but he must hear the soft tread of the executioner as The Pied Piper comes after him. The Piper found COLORADO CLAIRE and will fancy his chances of running the leader down. A long way to go and it is starting to get interesting. A few competitors neglected to file, or if they did, I didn't see the email. If you think you are one of these, let me know. If you want to tell me you selected something at 100/1 that shat in, I'll need some compelling evidence.

 

 

 

 

 

GUFF AVAILABLE FOR THE LAST VALLEY NIGHT OF THE SEASON!!!

We bid farewell to the Valley Friday nights after this evening. It's not unfair to say that the Friday nights have been a picnic for Guff loyalists and we bid them a fond farewell. The ole Guffmeister can now spend his winter Friday evenings snuggled up next to his Sweet Pea in front of a crackling log fire instead of listening to the dopes on TVN. But we'll miss the easy loot. Would love to go out with a bang tonight. There is a bit there. Naturally, we're at fever pitch for the big Rosehill card tomorrow. Should be a very interesting weekend. 

 

GUFF ON FIRE AT HAWKESBURY!!!

You know we never spruik: just not our style. But how about dem apples? OUR DESIGN(2.6) made it six of the last seven best bets in saluting today. MATTIYA'S PRIDE(5.4) and SMART MAN(13.0) were nice double overlays (with some reports about much better bet about SMART MAN on Betfair - I wasn't around for that). Those who suffered through our long dissertation on why the Ryan donkey favourite MY SHABELLA couldn't win were rewarded if they laid it when the beast raced as if its legs were tied together. Can't claim THE GREAT SNOWMAN(10.0) as he was rated 7.0 and I spend a lot of time instructing you that the way to the pelf is to wait for the double overlay price to trigger a bet, but again, I'm told he was much better odds on Betfair and it would have been sorely tempting to come in. Like Oscar sez, the only thing to do about temptation is to yield to it. Thanks to those of you who gave me the big don't argue last night when I protested that I was tired and busy and had too much on my plate to do anything for today. "If you don't like it, get a real fucking job" isn't something I like hearing from strangers, but the unusually direct advice was on the money. Spent the afternoon looking at the master Picasso's work with my artist daughter, feeling a sense of awe and elation that got only better when I left the gallery and picked up the late results from Hawkesbury. Just finished a nice bottle of wine with my beautiful girl, while she drank water and nodded in all the right places as her old man droned on and on under a rising moon. The Valley tomorrow night and then we lead the troops into the heart of the enemy camp on Saturday. And some people think I'm kidding...Peace and love to all.

 

TWO BEST BETS WIN AND A CORRECTION!!!

Firstly, the best bets EREVANI(1.7) and MOSSENE(3.6) saluted today, to give us five of the last six best bets. Let's keep that rolling Saturday. Secondly, we stuffed up the email address for our friends at Winewise for those were impressed by the lovely dozen chosen for us. 

HAWKESBURY GUFF!!!

We've had few inquiries about Guff for tomorrow's Hawkesbury meeting and my initial response of "Fuck off!" didn't prevent further inquiries. The basis of the representations seems to be that it is after all a city meeting. I guess that's fair enough and here's me with all this idle time and all. It doesn't look a bad meeting either, so for those who are interested I'll have something up around 11.30am.

 

 

HERE'S WHAT YOU ARE PLAYING FOR!!!

We promised the winner of the Guff Cup a dozen bottles of fine wine. The Guffmeister asked the sommeliers, oenophile and wine connosseurs at Australia's best online wine site winewise.com.au to recommend us a dozen. This is what they came up with:

2010 St Huberts Hubert The Stag Yarra Valley Pinot Noir

2010 Sandalford Reserve Margaret River Shiraz   

2010 Kirrihill Regional Series Shiraz

2009 Shaw and Smith Adelaide Hills Shiraz

2009 Wolf Blass Gold Label Shiraz

2007 Les Vins de Vienne l’Arzelle St-Joseph Syrah

2010 McWilliams Mt Pleasant Jack Cabernet Sauvignon

2009 Wynns Black Label Cabernet Sauvignon

 2009 Evans & Tate Metricup Road Margaret River Cabernet Merlot

 2008 Antinori Peppoli Chianti

 2009 Hewitson Miss Harry Grenache Shiraz Mourvedre

 2008 S.C. Pannell Pronto Tinto

 

That's what the winner will receive. HALF MAN HALF BISCUIT entered a protest, saying that he filed the winner JADE MARAUDER. He did too! The protest is accordingly upheld and his score adjusted. But surely no-one could blame the inebriated Guffmeister for mucking up the scores after the character building day that was Saturday! Good luck to everyone. It is truly a prize worth winning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BIG FAT BASTARD TAKES THE LEAD IN GUFF CUP!!!

BIG FAT BASTARD, the latest of late entries after sending the Guff a raft of filthy jokes late on Saturday morning and only then finding out the Cup was on, took the lead with the fabulous selection of KNOT OUT at 12.0. Can someone please run him down? We don't really feel like paying the freight for a dozen bottles of red to Darwin! If I received selections from 69 and DONKEY ROD I've somehow misplaced or deleted them. (Could those two competitors contact me please.) The vast majority of the field - including the competition organiser - are yet to open their account. Should make for an interesting day this Saturday.

 

 

 

PROTEST UPHELD!!!

Competitor DONKEY ROD has contacted me to protest that he filed HAY LIST as his tip in the first week of the Guff Cup. Not only did he file, he was one of the first in, and the protest is accordingly upheld. The Guffmeister accepts full responsibility but blames it on the post-Flemington BBQ on Saturday. The scoreboard has now been altered to show Donkey Rod sitting second, like Hay List stalking the hapless Buffering. 

 

I DON'T MIND MONDAYS!!!

With apologies to Sir Bob Geldof, I don't mind Mondays at all! Both best bets home, CHOICE WORDS(2.6) and EASTWARD(3.2). Got two skinny lay favs beaten at 1.8 and 2.6 and SIR FERNANDO has killed them for us late, getting out to 5.5 on Betfair. Not bad for a horse rated 1.8. A lovely day. Hope everyone had a win. Thanks for all the kind emails since the weekend. I am grateful.

 

NORMAN FREDERICK IRVING TAKES THE EARLY LEAD IN THE INAUGURAL GUFF CUP!!!

Norman Frederick Irving - no, we don't get it either! - found MANIGHAR yesterday and took the lead after the first round of the Guff Cup. Mind you, it wasn't hard to do since he was the only competitor who found a winner. Mein Hoste went within a millimetre of a pretty decent lead with BUFFERING in the Newmarket. It's early days, but the leader is the one to catch. I must confess to being slightly disappointed that so many subscribers declined the opportunity to participate. It's not compulsory, of course, but there's a crate of wine, a dinner and bragging rights for the holder of the Cup up for grabs. And the idea is to have a bit of fun with it all. For that reason, I'm throwing the door open for latecomers next week. Anyone who decides to participate simply files next week. You'll be starting on -10, in fairness to the main body of the field. But I'd love at least a few more of you to come in. 

NOT A BAD DAY, BUT WITH A LITTLE LUCK...

We found some nice winners yesterday, including INSTALMENT(19.0), ALL TOO HARD (4.6) and SPIRIT SONG(5.0) yesterday, but with four seconds in Melbourne - three of them by a millimetre - it could have been so much better. BUFFERING at better than 30.0 went oh so close to delivering a colossal blow for us, but the post is where the post is. The Brisvegas maestro chimed in with a few nice winners and an even money diamond lay that bit the dust. (An update here, we've received a couple of emails this afternoon from subscribers who took 9.0 about CONTRACT CATERER and want to buy the Brisvegas maestro a beer. What a shame he doesn't drink...much.) There'll be Guff for Canterbury and the Valley tomorrow for those of you with bulging pockets who want to ignore the traditional start to the working week. Geez we look after you, don't we? But we also know you appreciate it. Let's keep it going!

 

GUFF CUP TIPS ARE NOW ONLINE!!!

Those subscribers who have entered the inaugural Guff Cup will find the tips online now. Anyone - and there's plenty of you - who hasn't entered, can file a tip in the next half an hour and I'll waive all penalties for this week. There's some interesting names, but my favourite has to be Colin Oscopy!

 

 

 

BRISVEGAS GUFF AVAILABLE 11:30 AM

GUFF NOW AVAILABLE - AND YOU HAVE 50 MINUTES TO FILE YOUR TIPS FOR THE FIRST WEEK OF THE GUFF CUP!!!

Guff is now available for subscribers for Super Saturday at Flemington and a not so bad card at the Farm. Tips are starting to roll in for the first week of the Guff Cup- yes, there will be a Cup with the winner's name inscribed on it and they can proudly display it on their mantelpiece until the Spring, when it will again be up for grabs. We've got some interesting pseudonyms already. A couple of you have emailed suggesting the Guffmeister should enter the competition on the basis that he's like an amateur at the golf and competes only for the silverware. I'm more than happy to take part, if only because I've always wanted to be "the man they couldn't hang". A tremendous day's racing lies ahead and I'll be beyond all consolation if we don't turn a decent profit. I'll put the tips up on the website as soon as I've collated them. Good luck to all!

 

 

 

AUTUMN COMPETITION STARTS TOMORROW!!!

Remember, tomorrow is the first day of the inaugural Guff Cup. Yes, the winner will receive a cup with their name engraved upon it in perpetuity. File your tips by 10am tomorrow morning. We've had some interesting tips and some even more interesting names already.

FLOOD AND NATURAL DISASTER CAN'T STOP THE GUFF!!!

Guff is now available for Sandown and Wyong. We honestly don't know how. Read it and you will understand why. There's looks to be a bit there today, if you are patient and avoid the bad races.

GUFF TIPPING COMPETITION STARTS SATURDAY!!!

The tipping competition we mentioned recently starts on Saturday. Here are the rules:

1. Open only to subscribers.

2. The competition will run from this Saturday up to and including Sydney Cup day.

3. Each competitor will file a selection by no later than 10am. Anyone who fails to file by the deadline will be automatically be given the default selection of the last favourite in Brisvegas. If there are equal favourites, you get the one which finishes further back. So get your tips in on time.

4. Results will be calculated on a notional $10 at best of best fluc or best tote.

5. In the event of a deadheat there will be a puntoff, like the walkoff in Zoolander.

6. Competitors are asked to forward a pseudonym with their initial selection to allow anonymity and a bit of fun. For instance, if the Guffmeister were eligible he would like to be "The man they cannot hang".

7. First prize is a case of fine wine. (Details later.) Second prize is dinner for two to the value of $200 at the restaurant of your choice. There is no third dividend. No reason other than we just thought that was funny.

That's about it for now. Further details when I'm back in the great city of lights.

 

WHO SAID IT WAS A DULL WEDNESDAY?

The Guffmeister apologizes profusely. With rain sweeping into Sydney today and a Sandown card that hardly set the pulse racing he tagged this a pretty run-of-the-mill midweeker. But who can account for the generosity of the enemy? DAD KNOW'S BEST (18.7) and TIME TO PLUNDER(10.0) were both magnificent overlays for those of you who bet that way, while Sydney best FORFEITURE(3.3) delivered the pelf in the last. We have a swollen war chest not only for Saturday, but the Valley on Friday night, which is fast becoming the Guff's equivalent of superannuation. Eat, drink and be merry, for these are very good days!

 

 

DO YOU WANT TO WIN LOTS OF MONEY? THEN READ ON…

 

I’ve had a few inquiries in the past few days about betting strategy. While I’m happy to respond to any emails personally it is probably a good idea that I put something up for everyone to see. The inquiries are also timely. The article on betting strategy I put on the website last year mentioned the strategy of backing horses only when you could get double the rated price or better. I’ve just been doing some stats. Since Derby Day at Flemington, there have been 580 rated horses available at double the rated price or better. Of these, 103 won - roughly 18%, with a profit of 52% on turnover. Up until and including last Saturday you would have made a profit of 305 units. (I should say that the figures are generally on best of best tote or best fluc, a product available to all. Those using Betfair judiciously would have even better results but in the interests of transparency I’ve limited these results to figures that are often much shorter than the prices I took myself.) That is, if you had $100 on each of them, the profit would have been $30,500. For $200 it would obviously be $61,000. Even if you started  by putting $20 on each qualifying runner, that’s still more than $6,000 lovely tax free dollars in less than four months. You wouldn't need a monster bank to start and can increase the size of the bets as you go. I do know that many of you accepted the advice in the article and have been going well. I received an email from a Guff loyalists who cleaned up on TAKE OUT at Sandown last Wednesday. We had the horse rated 8.0 and he got an incredible 39.0 on Betfair – which was much better than I took. He’s buttered up with a lovely win on WOORIM on the weekend. I’ve been stunned by the number of emails from subscribers who backed WOORIM. An astonishing  number of you seem to have found him. I do think that’s got a lot to do with the great affection for the animal, rather than the simple fact he was value on the figures. He’s done us a couple of good turns in the past and I think nearly everyone couldn’t bear to let him run against us. Anyone who requires further explanation, or has a question or two about any of this should send me an email and I’ll respond as soon as I can. The whole idea of the Guff is to help you win and maximise the profitability of your betting. We promised a very special Autumn and we’ve got the start we wanted.

 

COMPETITION FOR SUBSCRIBERS!!!

We are putting the finishing touches to a tipping competition for Guff subscribers to run through the rest of the Autumn. There’ll be great prizes and it promises to be loads of fun. (Don’t expect anything like the corporate bookmakers giveaways, but we’ll come up with something worthwhile.) It’s tentatively down to begin Saturday week. A great chance to test your skills against fellow Guff loyalists and earn massive bragging rights! We’ll keep you wired.

GUFF LOYALISTS WILL PARTY UNTIL LATE!!!

As you know, we don't spruik, but we are entitled to make subscribers aware of the wash up of things. Well then, what a fabulous day! Both best bets, FONTELINA(4.8) and HOT SPIN(3.2) saluted, with FONTELINA being the best bet anywhere across the wide brown land. Brisvegas gladiator WOORIM stuck his lovely head out for us on the line. I haven't checked official flucs, but took 30.0 on Betfair myself. I don't think anyone is going to grizzle about getting anything resembling that. And of course, we have to mention the mighty LUCAS CRANACH(7.0). The horse is part-owned by a mainstream analyst we've been poking a bit of fun at recently. He told his subscribers this morning that the horse wasn't fit enough to win and they should avoid him. It seems impossible to believe that a horse could be running first-up over 1800m and be underdone. It's an opinion game, I know. We'll happily stick with ours instead of that of the spivs and sharks that populate this industry. We promised some pyrotechnics during the Autumn. Like the song goes, this is only the beginning. Tell your womenfolk to get their gladrags on and take them out and treat them tonight. And raise a glass to the mighty WOORIM!

VALLEY GUFF NOW AVAILABLE!!!

We've been setting the house ablaze at the Valley night meetings in recent weeks. There's a bit of value there tonight, so order the Thai takeaway, cool the Coopers and get ready to flick between the horses and the cricket. And of course get ready for a monster day tomorrow.

 

 

A pretty good day Saturday and we even got the best across the wide brown land home for a change! SOFT SAND was an astonishing price and it was nice to get that right. (I'm convinced FIRST COMMAND would have got home on a fairer track.) The odds on lay DIDNTCOSTALOT bit the dust for us in Sydney and the best SAID COM got home. Double overlays THINK MINK(10.0) and MANGANOA FLYER(5.0) rounded out a nice day. While we're on such matters, the Guffmeister's currently completing a statistical review of the last three months. I'll go into this more fully later in the week but in the three months since the Melbourne Cup carnival if you'd restricted your betting to only when you could get double the rated price or better, you'd be showing an astonishing profit. There's a few rules around this and I detalied them in the articles on betting strategy a couple of months back, but I'll go over it again later in the week with more specific details.

 

 

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